Congrats, You Are Now Older Than Yourself
Last time I checked. Last time I REALLY checked, I was 24 and it was 2020. Here’s what it’s like to be 27 for us 1996 babies right now!
I turned 27 the other day. No tears, no wet birthday cakes.
To give some context, I cried all over my birthday cake on my 26th birthday last year. Partly because they made me blow out some candles that actually meant I was two years older than myself…
I mean, my past three birthdays since 2020 felt like a time skip in a movie that didn’t make sense. But yeah, it’s starting to make much more sense to me now as I learn more about myself.
This February is not like last year’s February. This year I am different, not because of some New Year’s resolution that I vowed to follow, but because I have in fact changed and I’m still changing just like everybody else.
On my 26th birthday, the 15-year-old me who’s still there somewhere broke down over the fact that things didn’t go as she had planned: “It was supposed to be a house, a car, a bestseller, and most importantly, a cat cafe all by 26, not a bank account that looks like an error page!”
On my 27th birthday… what can I say, I’m glad I didn’t listen to her this year. As you grow, you learn to cut off toxic relationships, especially those you have with yourself.
I could share all the details but let’s leave that tear-jerker where it belongs ⇢ my personal journal. For now.
Enough rambling, here's how it’s going 2 days into 27, let’s see if some of you can relate 🥂
⏰You don’t know if you’re 27 years old or 27 years young.
⏰Your brain still sees the number 26 when someone asks you about your age (give it a year and it’ll catch up).
⏰When logging your info online, scrolling back to the year 1996 takes longer than 3 seconds (stopwatch confirmed).
⏰ You find out that you can curse, drive, vote, run for office, and go to adult jail.
⏰You feel overwhelmed by your lack of life experience but you’re excited to give life advice to 20-year-olds.
⏰You’re starting to question the saying, “age is just a number” because you feel like it’s either a mantra for the young and naive or a pick-up line from a creep.
⏰You break out in a cold sweat every time someone mentions the fact that you’re only 3 years away from 30. — so what do you say? (see pick-up line above).
⏰You wish you were less of a consumer and more of a saver in your early twenties.
⏰You start wondering if you’re going to live long enough to get chipped and witness AI take control over humanity. 🥂
⏰You were once the baby of the workplace but now you’re a self-proclaimed babysitter.
⏰You demand respect now and if someone doesn’t grant it you remind them that you’re older than Steve Jobs was when he founded Apple.
⏰You have 60+ years ahead of you, or 200+ if you’re willing to get popsiclized at −273°C and make a comeback as a hotter version of yourself in 2223.
⏰You feel a little sad that you can’t accurately remember some cherished memories and wonder why you can still remember some cringe moments from 2003 as if they happened 2 hours ago.
⏰You’re back to the ultimate dilemma of 1996 babies: Are you the youngest millennial or the oldest Gen Z-er? Or a Zillenial — who has never watched Friends but would rather yeet her phone out of a speed train than use Tiktok? Guess we’ll never know.
⏰⏰ After only two days into 27, you admit that you did overthink your age a little bit and that you’re not as wise as you thought you were. But it’s all fine, students are allowed to make mistakes, and you’ll always be a student even at 227 years old.
Thank you for reading, You deserve a cookie 🍪
